Silly Story

I asked Chat GPT to write a comedic horror parody short story titled:  “The Corn has Ears”

This is what it spit out.

The Corn Has Ears

It was a warm summer evening in the town of Shucksville, where the annual Corn Festival was in full swing.  The air smelled of butter and roasted kernels, and the townsfolk had gathered to celebrate their most prized crop.  Little did they know, this year’s harvest had a sinister secret.

Maggie, the town’s self-proclaimed corn maze queen, was practicing her labyrinth navigation skills.  She’d conquered every maze since she was six, and this year, she had her eyes on the coveted Golden Husk Trophy.  But as she stood at the entrance of Farmer Gribbles’ maze, she couldn’t shake a strange feeling.

“This maze feels… alive,” she muttered, clutching her flashlight.  Her best friend, Todd, rolled his eyes.

“You’ve been watching too many horror movies,” Todd said, adjusting his oversized cowboy hat.  “It’s corn.  Corn doesn’t…” He paused, glancing at the stalks swaying in the windless night.  “…move.”

Maggie squinted.  “Did that corn just lean closer?”

“Probably the wind,” Todd said, his voice cracking.  “Let’s just get through this and win that trophy.”

The two ventured into the maze, their flashlights casting long, flickering shadows.  The tall stalks loomed above them, rustling softly, though the air was eerily still.  As they rounded a corner, they heard a faint whisper.

“Did you hear that?” Maggie asked, freezing in her tracks.

Todd nodded, his face pale.  “It sounded like… someone said ‘butter me up.’”

Before Maggie could respond, a husky voice echoed through the maze.  “You shouldn’t have come here, shucklings.”

The friends screamed and bolted, tripping over roots and stumbling through the rows. The whispering grew louder, more insistent.  “We see you.  We hear you.  You’ll never leaf.”

They skidded to a halt in a clearing, their flashlights revealing a terrifying sight: a towering ear of corn, its kernels forming a grotesque, grinning face.  Its leaves writhed like tentacles, and its voice was deep and menacing.

“Welcome to the harvest,” the Corn Creature bellowed.

“What do you want from us?!” Todd yelled, brandishing his flashlight like a sword.

The creature chuckled, a sound like dry husks rubbing together.  “Revenge.  For centuries, you’ve boiled us, buttered us, and… salted us.”  It shuddered dramatically.  “Now it’s our turn to feast.”

Maggie’s eyes darted around the clearing.  Her hand brushed against something familiar in her pocket—a packet of popcorn seasoning.  An idea struck her.

“Todd, distract it!” she whispered.

“What?! How?!” Todd hissed back.

“I don’t know, tell it a joke!”

Todd gulped and stepped forward.  “Uh, hey, Cornzilla, why did the scarecrow win an award?”

The Corn Creature paused, tilting its massive cob head.  “Why?”

“Because he was outstanding in his field!” Todd said, his voice cracking.

The creature groaned.  “That’s corny.”

While it was distracted, Maggie tore open the seasoning packet and flung the contents at the creature.  It recoiled, screaming.  “What is this sorcery?!”

“It’s garlic Parmesan!” Maggie shouted triumphantly.  The Corn Creature began to shrivel, its kernels popping furiously.  Within moments, it was reduced to a pile of fluffy popcorn.

Todd stared at the steaming mound.  “So… does this count as dinner?”

Maggie groaned, grabbing his arm.  “Let’s just get out of here before the maze decides to grow teeth.”

As they emerged from the maze, the townsfolk cheered, oblivious to the nightmarish ordeal the duo had survived.  Maggie and Todd exchanged a glance, silently agreeing that some stories were best left untold.

But from the edge of the maze, the remaining stalks rustled ominously, as if whispering a promise: “We’ll be back…”